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PHD. MBA. MHS. Type rated on A350, A330, B777, B747-400, B747-200, B757, B767, B737, B727. International Airline Pilot / Author / Speaker. Dedicated to giving the gift of wings to anyone following their dreams. Supporting Aviation Safety through training, writing, and inspiration. Fighting for Aviation Safety and Airline Employee Advocacy. Safety Culture and SMS change agent.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

All About Atlanta

I'm so glad I'm based in Seattle!

This is for anyone who lives in Atlanta, Georgia, has ever lived in Atlanta, has ever visited Atlanta, ever plans to visit Atlanta, knows anyone who already lives in Atlanta, knows anyone based in Atlanta, might be based in Atlanta, or knows anyone who has ever heard of Atlanta.
Atlanta is composed mostly of one-way streets. The only way to get out of downtown Atlanta is to turnaround and start over when you reach Greenville , South Carolina .

All directions start with, "Go down Peachtree" and include the phrase, "When you see the Waffle House." except that in Cobb County , where all directions begin with, "Go to the Big Chicken."

Peachtree Street has no beginning and no end and is not to be confused with:
Peachtree Circle
Peachtree Place
Peachtree Lane
Peachtree Road
Peachtree Parkway
Peachtree Run
Peachtree Terrace
Peachtree Avenue
Peachtree Commons
Peachtree Battle
Peachtree Corners
New Peachtree
Old Peachtree
West Peachtree
Peachtree Industrial Boulevard

Atlantans only know their way to work and their way home. If you ask anyone for directions, they will always send you down Peachtree.

Atlanta is the home of Coca-Cola. Coke's all they drink there so don't ask for any other soft drink unless it's made by Coca-Cola. Even if you want something other than a Coca-Cola, it's still called Coke.

The gates at Atlanta 's Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport are about 32 miles away from the Main Concourse, so wear sneakers and pack a lunch.
The 8 a.m. rush hour is from 6:30 a.m. to 10:30 a.m.
The 5 p.m. rush hour is from 3:00 p.m. to 7:30 pm. (Don't forget the lunch time rush hour!)

Friday's rush hour starts Thursday afternoon and lasts through 2 a.m. Saturday.

Only a native can pronounce Ponce De Leon Avenue , so do not attempt the Spanish pronunciation. People will simply tilt their heads to the right and stare at you. The Atlanta pronunciation is " pawntz duh LEE-awn."

And yes, they have a street named simply, "Boulevard."

The falling of one raindrop causes all drivers to immediately forget all traffic rules. If a single snowflake falls, the city is paralyzed for three days and it's on all the channels as a news flash every 15 minutes for a week. Overnight, all grocery stores will be sold out of milk, bread, bottled water, toilet paper, and beer.

I-285, the loop that encircles Atlanta which has a posted speed limit of 55 mph but you have to maintain 80 mph just to keep from getting run over and is known to truckers as "The Watermelon 500."

Don't believe the directional markers on highways: I-285 is marked "East" and "West" but you may be going North or South. The locals identify the direction by referring to the "Inner Loop" and the "Outer Loop ."

If you travel on Hwy 92 North, you will actually be going southeast.

Never buy a ladder or mattress in Atlanta . Just go to one of the interstates and you will soon find one in the middle of the road.

The last thing you want to do is give another driver the finger, unless your car is armored, your trigger finger is itchy and your AK-47 has a full clip.

Possums sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.

There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Georgia .

There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Georgia , plus a couple no one has seen before.

If it grows, it sticks. If it crawls, it bites. If you notice a vine trying to wrap itself around your leg, you have about 20 seconds to escape, before you are completely captured and covered with Kudzu.

It's not a shopping cart, it's a buggy.
"Fixinto" is one word (I'm fixinto go to the store) - also can be pronounced "Fixinta".

Sweet Tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're 2 years old.

"Jeet?" is actually a phrase meaning "Did you eat?"
"How's Momma-nem" means: "How's Mother and all of the other children and other members of the family doing?"

If you understand these jokes, forward them to your friends from Atlanta , Georgia , and those who just wish they were....  

Note: Author unknown. But I think they live just off of Peachtree.

Keep smiling and remember... 

~Enjoy the Journey



  1. A wonderfully, funny post. Thanks. While bread and born near Seattle and happily living in rural, Western Oregon, I share your funny quips about Atlanta. Been there (ouch) and done that (even more ouches). Our part of the country (or world) is a great place to make and call home. The more other places that we visit, the more we like home. Shhh - everyone will find out!
    I am delighted to read your many posts about introductory flyine for young women and I support the program. If I may, it is also nice to see you move on to other topics, if only for a few days. I have read through your archives and I know that you have a lot of other, very interesting material to relate. I am glad that you are - finally - migrating that way. Little girls in little airplanes is a great, can-do message and it works. And it is not your only message. I love it and nuff said. Thanks, KP.

  2. Hi, Karlene!

    Priceless! In re: the gates at Hartsfield, it's a law of the universe that if you go through there on Friday evening you will arrive at A2 and your departure ("Hustle! You got 15 minutes!") will be from D48. BTDT.

    Congrats on finishing the book. Lookin' forward to reading it.



  3. Thanks for posting - that's funny. You can almost just replace "Atlanta" with "Dallas" and it's still true - apart from the Peachtree and Coca-Cola bits. In Dallas all soft drinks are referred to as "Would you like a 'Coke-or-something'"? I do remember staying in Atlanta one time at a hotel at the intersection of Peachtree and Peachtree.

  4. This is hilarious! I have several friends from Atlanta and I know they'd be rolling with laughter. Thanks for brightening my morning!

  5. Thanks for your comment Heather. I received this yesterday, and it brightened my day too!

  6. Good morning Craig, Yes, we are so very lucky to live where we do. A best kept secret. shhh. It took me quite a long time to get based at home.
    Thank you so much for the very nice comment and reading all my posts! It's amazing how many people reached out and support the ladies. And how important it was to them. So many great smiles.

  7. Thanks for the comment Frank! Whatever you do... don't attempt the walk from the International concourse to baggage after hours. They shutdown all the other stops. If you start walking, there is no hopping on the tram on the next stop...there isn't one. I didn't actually do this, but I heard about it.

  8. Thanks for the comment D.B. That's pretty funny about the hotel. I knew this stuff was true! And... for Dallas too? Funny. Have a great day!

  9. Hopefully flying around Atlanta is safer than driving!

  10. It is too funny. Back in 1995, I was flesh out of boat from a foreign country and driving in Atlanta. I asked for directions 3 times and got 3 different answers! And all related to Peachtree... I went back to Atlanta in 2004, and felt much better since I did not drive that time!:-)

    Atlanta airport is also the only airport I have missed my flight so far due to traffic. However to be fair, traffics in Beijing and Shanghai are much worse. I have been 2 hours late for a meeting!

  11. Hi Jane, You know... at the time we probably don't laugh--- But now we can. So, more verification on the Peachtree facts!
    I'm thinking I might not drive in Atlanta either. Yes! Beijing and Shanghai are far worse. And... breathing is a challenge too. Pure chaos. Oh, there is no place like home. Thank you so much for the comment.

  12. Hey Windtee... Thank you for the comment. I'm thinking there might be a line of shirts here. :)

  13. Oh my gosh, Karlene, I don't know how I missed this post yesterday but am so glad I found it today. Thank you for my morning laugh, which will last all day, 'cause I'm fixinta look at it again later.


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